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  • ... she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning. 

 

  • ... when she was lost, her picture was on the bottom of a milk carton! 

 

  • ... she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application! 

 

  • ... they filmed the movie "Gorillas in the Mist" while she was taking a  shower. 

 

  • ... when she was a kid, they had to tie a steak around her neck so the  dog would play with her. 

 

  • ... when she was born, the doctor slapped her mama. 

 

  • ... the government moved Halloween to her birthday. 

 

  • ... she worked at a strip club and they paid her to put her clothes back on

 

  • ... when she goes to the bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras. 

 

  • ... not even the tide would take her out. 

 

  • ... not even Sammy the Bull would take her out. 

 

  • ... they had to feed her by remote control! 

 

  • ... she could be a modern art masterpiece! 

 

  • ... she turned Medusa to stone! 

 

  • ... she makes onions cry! 

 

  • ... she looked in the mirror and her reflection ducked. 

 

  • ... when she fell out the ugly tree she hit every branch on the way  down. 

 

  • ... on Halloween her mamma pressed her face in tha dough to make monster  cookies! 

 

  • ... she scares away blind people! 

 

  • ... when you were born, the midwife slapped her instead of you