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- ... she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
- ... when she was lost, her picture was on the bottom of a milk carton!
- ... she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application!
- ... they filmed the movie "Gorillas in the Mist" while she was taking a shower.
- ... when she was a kid, they had to tie a steak around her neck so the dog would play with her.
- ... when she was born, the doctor slapped her mama.
- ... the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
- ... she worked at a strip club and they paid her to put her clothes back on.
- ... when she goes to the bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
- ... not even the tide would take her out.
- ... not even Sammy the Bull would take her out.
- ... they had to feed her by remote control!
- ... she could be a modern art masterpiece!
- ... she turned Medusa to stone!
- ... she makes onions cry!
- ... she looked in the mirror and her reflection ducked.
- ... when she fell out the ugly tree she hit every branch on the way down.
- ... on Halloween her mamma pressed her face in tha dough to make monster cookies!
- ... she scares away blind people!
- ... when you were born, the midwife slapped her instead of you
